


The One Where Raphael Is An Idiot In Love

by AnonymousActions



Series: Saphael Drabbles [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A bit sad, Artsy, I got inspired, M/M, Some angst, how does one tag, rapahel centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 16:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10925325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousActions/pseuds/AnonymousActions
Summary: Simon is Raphael's sun, his universe, his heart, his life, his death, his everything.(Quick mention of vampire suicide- does not actually happen- and general heavy material)





	The One Where Raphael Is An Idiot In Love

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is, and I'm sorry I haven't been active. I just haven't been in a good vibe lately...
> 
> I hope this makes up for not posting anything in like a year....

Simon is Raphael's sun. After the betrayal, after Clary, after Isabelle, after their deaths, after they were all past their time, after all of that, Simon became his sun. 

It was a Wednesday, Raphael remembers. It was barely night, but Simon was there, in the main room, waiting. He had tears, blood, running down his cheeks and Raphael remembers opening his arms. "Baby" escaped his lips, a reverent whisper. Ready to forgive, finally. He remembers Simon in his arms, his voice broken, "My nephew died today. I was there, I held his hand. Rapha, I felt his hand becoming as cold as mine." He remembers holding on tightly, tightening his arms around his fledgling, whispering to him the same words over and over, "it'll heal, baby, it'll heal."

He remembers falling in love with Simon. More precisely, he remembers realising he had fallen in love with Simon. 

It was a Sunday, Simon was on his couch complaining about the new fledgling, and his words were drowned out by Raphael's thoughts. Admiration and fondness seeping into the leader's mind, constant reassurance for Simon that never passed his lips. Jealousy when he registered the words, "She kept hitting on me, Rapha! It was so awful! She's so young too, it's like talking to a baby, I feel like a pedophile just thinking about the possibility-" The words were drowned out again, barely being heard by Raphael. Then the one thought Raphael didn't know he held onto slipped past his lips, "I love you." And Simon went silent. A sigh. A chuckle. A smile. A kiss. A kiss! 

Raphael remembers Simon the longest. Throughout their life, throughout his life, all he remembers clearly, shining in the middle of everything, is Simon. Even back when he disliked him, and even hated him later. A sun in the middle of darkness.

On a Monday, Raphael woke up in the middle of the day, Simon gone and the sheets beside him still cold. He remembers falling asleep and waking up again around 4pm, Simon next to him again, warm. Raphael remembers smiling, the only time he ever felt the sun's warmth on his skin was when Simon had been outside. Raphael knows Simon still gets nightmares, he knows the fledgling has nightmares too, but he only cares for Simon's sleep. It's selfish maybe, but Simon is his everything. Raphael always cuddles back into Simon and Simon always wraps his arms around him and kisses his head. And they sleep, the rest of the day. Always.

Simon is Raphael's sun. Sometimes even literally. He smiles and it radiates around him, he goes in the sun and he seems to have a halo. A damned soul in the form of an angel.

Raphael thinks he'll never love anyone that way. He thinks if Simon were to die he would probably lay in the sun, in the park. He thinks if something happened to Simon, Raphael would feel the sun one last time just to join him.

Raphael thinks he's in love. There's no sex, no physical bond the way most people have, but Simon doesn't mind. Simon holds him and smells his hair. He calls him Rapha and giggles sometimes. They play together. Simon plays the guitar, Raphael the piano. It works. Simon sings to him sometimes, softly, when he thinks Raphael is asleep. 

Simon is Raphael's everything, he's the sun Raphael orbits around. Sometimes Raphael thinks he might be the center of Simon's world too. 

Sometimes, Raphael thinks he has never been more alive. 

Sometimes, he's happier than he's ever been.

And it's always, always enough.


End file.
